OIJ

Friday night at Missile, Tyler and I chatted with these two Japanese girls. Tyler had already been talking with them a bit before I showed up. We left pretty soon after, and the two girls asked where we're going and promised to meet us up at the next bar.

Then it's drinks and more at the Nashville Room. I had been here before just once. The bartender Toshi has a little star tatooed next to his right eye like a beauty mole. Tyler talked about politics, I just nodded. Gul was there too, but we only talked about his new Pakistani curry restaurant.

We hit up another bar after Nashville Room, I could not remember the name except that it ended with -ium. I think. The place is lit up in fluorescent blue and covered with cut-outs from surfing magazines. The bartender apparently lived in Australia for 2 years, and acts buddy buddy with Tyler (which all bartenders in Asahi-machi seem to do). We ordered two bottles of non-Japanese beers. The same 2 girls from Missile, plus a third, were sitting in the back and we joined them.

They could've been anywhere from 17 to their claimed 21 years old (I noticed that they drank cokes). Like most Japanese girls they were not particularly chesty, but compensate by showing plenty of legs. I couldn't remember what they looked like, their names, or much of our conversation (which wasn't really much to begin with, just a mixture of giggling and monkeying English/Japanese). But I did remeber this part:

girl 1: Please teach me English (I'm not sure exactly how the below exchange started, but I'm pretty sure about the next line)

tyler: Can you say, "Suck on my tits"?

girl 1: Suck on my tits. (after confirming her pronunciation with us, to girl 2 in Japanese) What's suck?

girl 2: (making a fist and tongue-ing cheek like blowjob, with slurping noise)

girl 1: (completely un-fazed) What's tits?

girl 2: I dunno.

girl 3: I dunno.

girl 1: (to me, in English) What's tits?

me: (groping tyler's tits)

tyler: (starting to grope my tits, thought about it, then from my perspective, making a groping gesture at the closest girl's tits)

pause

all 3 girls: (screaming and laughing with unbridled enthusiasm) Suck on my tits! Suck on my tits!

Unbelievable. OIJ.

PS: due to it's frequent usage, "Only in Japan" needs to be acronym-ized.
PPS: The girls left soon after. We ran into them again at Missile but I didn't stay long since I already had too much to drink.
PPPS: Simona was in Tokyo this weekend. She was and is in my mind the whole time.

Approx. 370 days ago today

Before Blogger added the photo upload feature and before I moved this blog to the sub-domain sankara, all my pics were uploaded to a different directory on the server than the one they are in now. If you know me, then you know how long this seemingly trivial disorganization has been eating at me. So I finally spent a whole Sunday morning FTPing files in and out of the server and changing all the html in archived entries. Now I can finally sleep knowing that all my pics are in the same directory and will stay there and obsolete after I start using Flickr.

Anyway, while doing so I noticed that I had a drafted entry from last February about Hadaka Matsuri that was never published. So the least you can do is go check it out. I didn't go to the one this year which took place last weekend. I was sick for a good solid week after running in it, so once was enough for me.

The Aerocraft

The Aerocraft.
looks like a flying Titanic to me.

In your face!

Welcome to LA, Radman.

Cheap links

From a NY magazine article about top 50 blogs by links:

There are upwards of 27 million blogs in the world. To discover how they relate to one another, we’ve taken the most-linked-to 50 and mapped their connections. Each arrow represents a hypertext link that was made sometime in the past 90 days. Think of those links as votes in an endless global popularity poll. Many blogs vote for each other: “blogrolling.” Some top-50 sites don’t have any links from the others shown here, usually because they are big in Japan, China, or Europe—regions still new to the phenomenon.

1. Boing Boing
A herald from the expanding fringe of Net culture: nerdy and fun.

2. Engadget
The Net’s premier tech blog and the flagship of the Weblogs, Inc., blog network. Pete Rojas, the brains behind the blog, specializes in product reviews and breaking news in gadget-land.

3. PostSecret
An online “art project” that allows people to read your deepest secrets on scanned anonymous postcards.

4. Daily Kos
Started by a U.S. Army veteran, Markos Moulitsas Zúniga, Daily Kos is the standard-bearer for liberal political blogs Netwide.

5. The Huffington Post
Famed national syndicated columnist, former California gubernatorial candidate, and former conservative Arianna Huffington gets on the blog bandwagon with a posse of famous friends in tow.

6. Gizmodo
Where Rojas used to work, before he jumped ship.

7. InstaPundit
University of Tennessee law prof Glenn Reynolds started spinning his libertarian-conservative punditry pre-9/11 and ranges freely among tech issues, law, politics, and the war on terror.

8. Thought Mechanics
A mishmash of Website design, code, music, and art.

9. Crooks and Liars
A lefty blog composed mostly of links to video clips from the MSM (that’s “mainstream media” to you).

10. spaces.msn.com/klcintw
The Horn Village Blog, in Chinese.

11. Michelle Malkin
Dubbed the Filipino Ann Coulter, Malkin writes about America-haters, illegal immigrants, and Democratic windbags.

12. SamZHU
In Chinese.

13. Dooce
The public suffering of a postpartum depressive. Mommies everywhere seem to relate.

14. Beppe Grillo Grillo, an Italian political satirist noted for packing stadiums in Italy and having giant wavy hair, writes an English/Italian blog peppered with strong anti-corruption, anti-globalization outrage and a pro-tech, pro-little-guy ethos. He knows his audience.

15. theme.blogfa.com
In Arabic.

16. Herramientas para Blogs
Madrid, Spain–based blogger Marcelino Madrigal writes in Spanish on music, graffiti, and whatever else he wants.

17. Lifehacker
Part of the Nick Denton blog empire, Lifehacker envisions a better world where computers make us more productive, rather than suck down our spare time.

18. locker2man
In Chinese.

19. Open Palm! silicn
In Japanese.

20. Think Progress
House organ of the Center for American Progress, a think tank led by former Clinton chief of staff John Podesta.

21. Official Google Blog
As the name implies.

22. Kottke
Jason Kottke got his big break in 2000, when he was profiled by The New Yorker. Now he blogs full time.

23. Fark
A frenetic mix of Star Trek: The Next Generation tidbits and dorky Photoshop contests.

24. Gawker
The gossipy flagship of the Denton blog empire.

25. chattie555
What’s not to love about sketches of skinny adolescent Kimono-clad girls playing with hippos? In Japanese.

26. spaces.msn.com/gb2312
In Chinese.

27. spaces.msn.com/msn-sa
In Japanese.

28. lwhanz1981530
The blog of one pensive-looking Japanese boy with photos that highlight his six-pack and pecs. In Japanese.

29. Wonkette
Part of Denton’s empire, gossip for the D.C. set. Founding editor Ana Marie Cox handed over the reins in January, but it still dishes Cox-like ’tude.

30. shiraishi seesaa
In Japanese.

31. The Space Craft
Where Microsoft discusses its rather lame network of blog sites called Spaces.

32. Talking Points Memo
Josh Marshall has taken the blog form from couch-potato punditry to real journalism. He recently hired a reporter to muckrake full time.

33. spaces.msn.com/huangmj
More Japanese.

34. A List Apart
If the term liquid center makes you think of candy rather than a Web page, this site isn’t for you. Design tips and tricks for those in the business.

35. manabekawori
More Japanese.

36. spaces.msn.com/atiger
Welcome to “a Tiger’s Space.” In Chinese.

37. Power Line
A conservative political blog by three lawyers. The blog got famous during “Rathergate” for helping to prove that the docs used by CBS questioning Bush’s military record were fakes.

38. Weebl’s Stuff News
From the creators of Weebl and Bob, cartoon talking eggs who love, I mean love, pie. They’re Internet stars and were recently picked up by MTV UK.

39. Eschaton
Liberal pro-Dem political blog of Duncan Black (a.k.a. Atrios). Known for its serious, in-your-face invective.

40. Xiaxue
Self-absorbed travails of twentysomething lovelorn Wendy Cheng. Famous in Singapore, she has also been criticized as racist and xenophobic.

41. Joystiq
All things video-game related, and part of the Calacanis blog network that includes Engadget.

42. Little Green Footballs
A rabidly conservative war blog. The source of so much Net controversy that it spawned a watchdog, LGF.blogspot.com.

43. AMERICAblog
Lefty political blog famous for exposing Jeff Gannon, the male prostitute cleared to attend White House press conferences.

44. nosz50j
In Japanese.

45. Joel on Software
Joel Spolsky, CEO of a small New York–based software company, computer programmer, and book author, shares his coding tips.

46. spaces.msn.com/gouy2k
In Japanese.

47. princesscecicastle
Lots of blurry cam shots of 19-year-old Ceci and her friends in Toronto. In Chinese.

48. Google Blogoscoped
A Google gossip-watch site run from Stuttgart, Germany.

49. The Superficial
Maliciously funny celeb gossip that—along with the ubiquitous celebrity boob and butt shots—keeps you coming back for more.

50. Andrew Sullivan
A gay, Catholic war supporter, albeit one who is very critical of Bush. In January, he leased the site to Time Warner.

Feed (no RSS yet)

Per Ben's request: actually a feed for the blog has always been available, but with every change of the template the link gets lost. The feed is in Atom only.

(15 min later) Now it has a RSS feed too, thanks to Feedburner.

Just some NBA links

The Sports Guy's all-star weekend review

Hilarious stuff. Read for his stories on Lebron and Jordan.

Ali G interview NBA all-stars

A frame-by-frame set of photos from Iggy's behind the backboard slam.

Official site of Jordan brand.

Sorry but with the java server pages I couldn't find the direct link. Go to the site and look up the tv-ad for the new Jordan XXI. Honestly I have not seen a better tv ad in a while.

Dreamt

that I was a dwarven warrior in an unspecified MMORPG world (could be World of Warcraft) and had to go face to face with Yao Ming, the guardian of the Tower of Anauroch. I used my scroll of detect monster on him and got the lowdown on Yao Ming the Beast: turns out that, despite the fact that he's wearing his home whites, he's actually a red creature from the Prophecy edition of Magic: The Gathering with the following properties: 5/5, +X/+X with trampling and 1st strike until the end of turn with X red mana (this is actually more like a Shivan Dragon from the Alpha and Beta edition, the only 2 I played seriously besides Arabian Nights and Antiquities). Yao Ming wields double scimitars, with each red mana tapped he gains an extra pair of scimitar wielding arms. However, the additional arms disappear if attacked with ranged weapons.

In our raid party I was joined by a night elf rogue, a human priest and another veiled warlock of unknown race who are all competent with bows. So here's our plan of attack: since I'm the strongest melee fighter, I would lead the attack with hand-to-hand combat with the other three cover me with arrows. Emboldened by the plan, I dropped my shout Leeroy Jenkins' style and charged forth, and came face to face with Yao Ming, who towered above me and cut off my escape with 16 intact scimitar-wielding arms. I looked around but my archery comrades were nowhere to be seen!

I fled, but could not shake Yao Ming, whose speed was unexpectedly high for a 7'5" half-giant. He was just fast enough to spot me turning around every corner at the very last moment. The chase was more Tom and Jerry than Terminator, took places at such random backdrops such as a SI swimsuit shoot on a Carribean cruise ship and the red indoor training gym of Ivan Drago.

Finally, Yao had me cornered under the iron climbing cages in some urban playground. I guessed that it had just stopped raining because the cages were dripping wet and dripping into my collar. Yao was getting closer and I had no where to run, but I really wasn't nervous at all because somehow I knew the help was coming...

I just didn't expect help to come in the form of Adam Morrison, who came to my rescue with a silver dragon lance and donning a turban and a full-grown Ali-baba mustache.

Olympic Curling

Some cross-eyed asshole took a shit in the locker-room bathroom and fucking missed the squatter toilet by a kilometer. How the hell is that possible? Since the locker-room bathroom is my cleaning assignment, I along with 2 other 2nd year boys had to disinfect and scrub it up good during cleaning time. And I didn't get no medal for it either.

Melo an 2006 All-star?

If you measure a player by his shoes. I've heard that these shoes are great for watching the All-Star games on TV at home. One would've thought that Melo/Nike learned form their fiasco last year.

Walking around with my fly open

(8:42) Something I seem to be doing a lot lately. Maybe it has something to do with the lack of sleep, or the abundance of hydration.

(9:40) One listless 2nd year class down, 3 more (1 2nd year plus 2 1st year) to go. There's another class in 3rd period, a 道徳 (morality) class for 1B, which I along with all the teachers have to stand in and observe for some reason.

(10:38) A slightly more energetic 2nd year class finished. I wonder what Simona is doing with her visiting ex-boyfriend Jacob today?

(11:40) Finally a break. The morality class was about aiding and treating handicapped people. Students read an essay about a Japanese man visiting England, saw a boy in wheelchair fell off the curb, offered to help but was stopped by the boy and all the surrounding Brits. The boy helped himself back onto the curb with everybody watching and cheering. Essay was followed by students discussion. Didn't think there was anything special about the lesson, at least not enough for it to be observed by basically the entire school staff, and for there to be a celebatory enkai after school today. I'm guessing it's probably because there is a handicapped boy (渡辺遼, Ryo Watanabe has a visitably weak and frail right leg and hobbles rather than walk--who belongs to the baseball team) in 1A.

(11:49) Just another 5 classes on a supposedly 3-class day. I guess it's kind of flattering in a way that they want me in the classrooms more often than I'm scheduled for, even though (or, precisely because) I'm basically a \300,000 per month tape recorder to them.

(11:54) Did I mention Simona's ex-boyfriend Jacob is in town? Did I mention that she had a crush on this guy since high school? He came in last night and I should've invited him to basketball so I can give him a proper introduction to Jeff.

(11:57) Speaking of Jacob and basketball, whatever happend to Casey Jacobson? Is he still in the league?

(12:09) From Chris Sheridan's NBA trade review, on last August's largest trade of NBA history sending Walker, JWill, Posey to the Heat and a bunch of spare players and draft picks to 4 other teams: "Winner: Hornets....which surrendered only the rights to Duenas (the hairiest player on the planet; if he ever makes it to the NBA, he'll be Wookie of the Year)." Nice, I can't wait.

(12:17) Darko is loose! So blogging live for once finally caught a historic moment.

(12:20) Out to lunch.

(13:28) Back from lunch.

(15:34) Whew. Done for the day after 2 more afternoon 1st year classes. I like my 1st year classes where the students are not as jaded as the 2nd years and not as stressed (about entrance exams) as the 3rd years. Snuck into the gym and napped on the gymastic mats during the cleaning time. I figure it can't be any worse than other teachers sneaking behind the martial arts gym (yes we have one of those, pretty much exclusively for the kendo team) to smoke fags.

(16:13) Just finished filming a couple of 2nd year students for their video letter to Temecula. 野波祐太(Nonami Yuuta) introduced about the computer room and 藤川英憲(Fujikawa Hidenori) introduced the martial arts gym. Fujikawa-kun failed to mention about it being the teachers' favorite smoking spot. I'm now alone in the staff room as all the teachers are in a conference talking about this morning's morality class.

(16:25) Uh oh, Noguchi-san just showed up in the staff room.

(16:40) Noguchi just left. She's a lady in Shio part of Nakayama who's got a few loose screws in her head (I have met, or heard of, quite a few nuts of varying degrees in Nakayama, must be in the water) who comes into the staff room every once in a while. This is the first time I've seen her this year. She usually says "Hi" timidly while putting her hand on my shoulder and putting her mug right next to my face and smile dumbly. I would have to force myself to stare at the computer screen so that I wouldn't rub her nose accidently if I turned my head. She would keep asking me if I speak Japanese or know about her son, Kinya Noguchi, who's in high school and is 17 (Honda-sensei didn't tell me much about her son, but from her reaction when I asked her I'm guessing he's either a much bigger nut, much older than 17, dead, or all of the above; btw Noguchi-san kept visitng Amy last year too and kept trying to fix her up with her "son"). I wish Kanada-san would give me a warning when she comes to the staff room so I can pop into the bathroom.

(17:05) I'm outta here.

(23:54) Time to crash. Ate a smallish dinner of soup dumplings and finished watching Paranoia Agent without Simona, who's with her ex-boyfriend crashing at her apartment for the night. he fact that I didn't go to the gym or do my dishes or laundry or showered have nothing to do with it.

Average NBA player

From basketballmonster.com, I found the average stats for both of my NBA fantasy teams. Imagine if all my 13 players were morphed into one, this is what he would average a night:

	Pts	3pt	Reb	Ast	Stl	Blk	To	Fg%	Ft%
Cowbell Champs	16.7	0.9	6.6	3	1.1	0.9	1.9	47	77
Infinit Monkey Smell	15.7	0.8	6.4	4.2	1.4	1.1	2.1	47	75

Since Cowbell Champs is in a 10 team/13 players league and Infinit Monkey is in a 12 team/13 players league, compare their stats to an "average*" NBA player in a 11 team/13 player league and a "really average" NBA player in a 30 team/14 player league:

	Pts	3pt	Reb	Ast	Stl	Blk	To	Fg%	Ft%
NBA average*	14.9	0.9	5.6	3.2	1	0.7	1.9	46	77
NBA average	8.3	0.5	3.6	1.7	0.6	0.4	1.2	45	74

These averages were determined from what I think are z-scores for all NBA players.

BTW I have a lot of free time at work.

20 Things I wish I had asked my barber stylist

but didn't/couldn't:

1) Do you cut men's hair here?

2) So, how much is it without the shampoo, the coloring and the styling?

3) Can I get a seat away from the big window that faces the street?

4) Why did you put me in the seat in the back corner?

5) How about you use the #8 clip for the side and #4 for the top.

6) Could I just have your haircut?

7) Just make me look as cool as a Japanese high school student.

8) But I thought I'm not getting the shampoo!?

9) Would you please you work your way around that zit over there?

10) (to the stylist who looked barely 18) May I see your beautician's license and registration?

11) I know I said no, but when you asked me "wakusu shimashouka?" did you mean eyebrow wax or hair gel?

12) Do my eyebrows need to be waxed?

13) Can you use that little cute pink brush on my nose again?

14) You did not just see my nose hair. There is nothing to see here.

15) What did I just say "hai" to?

16) Can I have the girl with knee-high leather boots instead of this guy with purple dreads to wash my hair?

17) (repeat the first part of the above question) to massage my scalp and shoulders?

18) Just another 5 minutes of massage please!?

19) Do you think I look good? I need your approval because I'm as chic as a plankton in the style food chain compared to you.

20) Is there an expiration date to this haircut?

The Stab

A completely blind but mildly ambitious stab by me to write the article for the monthly PTA newsletter in Japanese.

“日本文化はほかの国と何が違う？”日本人はアメリカ人もそれを僕にしばしば問います。それは面白い問題と思います。それについて、僕はよく考えて、たくさん論説や本を読んでありました。もしかしたらあなたは僕の答えにびっくりさせるでしょう。

日本文化には、一番独特な様相が性別に全く別個の役（性質）です。アメリカや台湾に比較して、日本男性は特に男勝りし、日本女性は特に女勝り（…; ）…女性らしい）です。仕事でも家族でも、感情的にも性的にも、男女性の期待されることは全然違う。女性の校長は一人を知っていますか？食事を作る夫が知っていますか？それでもアメリカにも台湾にも両方は一般的のです。

日本特有の性質はもう一つあります。一般的に言って、日本文化は未知を嫌って文化と思う。未知のものは好奇ではなくて、危険です。これは僕が日本で観察したいろいろな物事の原因であると思います。例えば、余分な（僕には）規則や儀式や形式的なものは（未知を最小限にするためかもしれない）日本のどこにでもいることでしょう。日本人もいつもストレスや心配ごとが多いようだ。学生たちは自由な表現より、正しい答え一つを見つけることのほうを好む。職場では、たいていの会社が終身雇用制を採用していて、仕事を変えることも稀です。

日本はアメリカに比較して、集団的な国です。皆は‘私’ではなくて、‘私たち’の観点から思う。それは未知を嫌って文化と関係にあると思います。例えば、教室で学生が発表するときに、一人ならいつも言いにくそうですが、グルプならちゅうちょすることないです。さらに、日本人は対人関係について、正直より調和のほうを好むと思います。それは台湾に思い出させて、でもアメリカに全然違う。

最後に、日本対人関係について、差別パワーは普通と思います。だれかだれを尊敬するかと判断することは大事です、そして不平等な対人関係は予期されて、欲されたことでしょう。先輩や、後輩や、敬語などはアメリカに存在ないアイデアです（でも台湾でもある）。

これらは日本が僕の世界とよく違うことです。でも、これらは(I don’t know how to say this sentence)　。　もしかしたら、ある日僕はこれらについて本を書こう。

The Edit

Heavily edited. Thanks to Mitsushima-sensei.

日本文化は他国の文化とどこが違うのか。日本人もアメリカ人もよく私にこの質問をしてきます。これはとても興味深い問いだと思います。私はよくこのことについて考えたり、文献や論文を読んだりします。おそらくあなた方は私の出した答えに驚きを覚えることでしょう。

日本文化における最も独特な側面は「性」の役割がはっきりしていることです。アメリカ、台湾と比べて、日本では男性は男らしく、女性は女らしくしているように感じます。職場でも家庭でも、感情面でも性的な面でも、男性と女性に求められるものはまったく違います。日本には女性の校長が大勢いますか。日常的に食事の準備をする男性がいますか。これらのことはアメリカや台湾では当たり前のことなのです。

もうひとつ独特なことがあります。一般的に言って、日本文化は不明確なものを嫌う傾向にあります。未知のものは好奇心をくすぐるものではなく、危険なものなのです。このことについて私なりに考察してみました。日本には、未知のものに対する恐怖を軽減するために、様々な規則、儀式、形式が各地に存在します。日本人はストレスを感じやすい民族なのではないかと思います。生徒たちは自由な表現より、正しい唯一の答えを探し出すことを好みます。職場では、ほとんどの企業が終身雇用制度を採用し、転職することはあまりありません。

アメリカと比較して、日本は集団的な国です。日本人は「私」ではなく「私たち」という観点に立って物事を判断します。それは未知を嫌う文化と関連があるように思います。例えば、授業で学生が発表するとき、一人では発表できないことも、グループであればためらうことなく発表します。また、対人関係において、「公正」であることより「調和」を重んじます。台湾ではよくあることですが、アメリカでは考えられません。

結局、日本では、対人関係に上下関係があるのは当たり前なのです。誰が誰を尊敬すべきなのかといった、不平等な対人関係は望まれて起こっているのです。「先輩」、「後輩」、「敬語」という概念はアメリカに存在しないのです。（台湾にはありますが）

このようなことが、日本文化と「私の世界」との違いなのです。しかし、日本がアメリカや台湾と比べて風変わりで特異な国だということではありません。私はいつかこのトピックについての本を出版しているかもしれません。

The Translation

Or rather, what the above 2 posts were translated from:

What is different between Japanese culture and other countries? Both Japanese and Americans ask me that question often. I think that is a very interesting question. I have often thought about it, and read many books and articles on this topic. Maybe you will be surprised at my answers.

The most distinct aspect about Japanese culture is the extremely distinct gender roles. Compared to America and Taiwan, Japanese men are extremely masculine and Japanese women are extremely feminine. In work and family, about emotion or sex, what is expected of men and women are completely different. Do you know any female school principles? Do you know any husbands who cook meals? Yet both are quite common in America and Taiwan.

There is another unique characteristic about Japan. Generally speaking, I think　Japanese culture is a culture that is averse to uncertainty. What is unknown is not curious, but dangerous. I think this explains many things I have observed in Japan. For example, rules, ceremony and formality (which seems to have the purpose of minimizing the unknown) are everywhere in Japan. Japanese always seem to be in a general state full of stress and anxiety. Students prefer getting a correct answer over open-ended expressions. In the workplace, most companies adopt lifetime employment, and job changes are seldom.

Compared with America, Japan is a much more collectivist country. Everyone think not in terms of “I” but “We.” I think this is related to Japan’s uncertainty-averse culture. For example, during presentations in class, it is difficult for students to speak up individually, but as a group students will speak without hesitation. Also, in personal relationships, I think Japanese generally prefer harmony over honesty. This reminds me a lot of Taiwan, but it is completely different than America.

Lastly, I think difference in power is a common theme for interpersonal relationships in Japan. Figuring out who should respect whom is important business, and unequal relationships are expected and often desired. Senpai, kohai, or honorific are nonexistent ideas in America (but Taiwan too has similar ideas).

These are what make Japan different from MY world. However, these don’t make Japan any more different than America or Taiwan. Maybe one day I will write a book about it.

Just a brick in the wall

Takami Tsuyoshi (高見剛史）is a first-year student in our school. I don't like him particularly much.

Maybe he has ADD or some other mental/behavioral/learning disorder (a case against him: all teachers have been informed about two other 1st-years with learning disabilities, and Tsuyoshi is not one of them), maybe he has some problematic family background that I am not familar with (his older brother behaves similarly in a way but less extremely), but sometimes I just want to throw him against a brick wall and see what happens.

At first I thought he's just an odd one. His default state during class is staring into space with his mouth half-open and pouting. His slouchy body language always seem like an intentional pose because something about it is just never quite natural. Sometimes he frowns, or turns his head (but never his body) and stares, with tremendous interest or disgust or indifference, into a different point in space. As far as I can tell that point can be his desk, his neighbor's eraser, the clock, the door, or the wall socket, but it's probably just anothing nothing in particular.

Occasionally and spontaneously, he makes other odd movements with his head. It's hard to describe them. Sometimes it's a constant rocking back and forth; sometimes it's a swoosh from one side to another (followed by a fixed stare); and sometimes it's like a slowly accelerating dipping of the head, concluded by a jerky but slight bounce at the end, kind of like Homer's favorite water drinking bird or a shishi-odoshi in Japanese gardens.

But when he's called on in class and asked to stand up and answer a question, that's when he pulls out his go-to move. This one is similar to the water drinking bird move, but with the head cocked to the side. It really reminds me of those wood sprite thingys in Princess Mononoke:



This was funny at first, but since Tsuyoshi also refuses to answer the question while he stands and cocks his head indefinitely, it quickly got really annoying. I used "refuse" because he wouldn't say "I don't know," or just take a guess, and because it usually takes minutes of cajoling to get him to mouth the answer as you tell it to him. One time, Mitsushima decided to make a point and just left him standing. It took Tsuyoshi about 15 minutes to go through his moves and finally settle into a dead but wide-eyed stare at the wall. If there are detentions in Japanese Jr. high schools, Tsuyoshi would probably never leave the principle's office.

The worse part is, outside of the classroom, I think all the teachers not only condone him, but actually love him and think he's funny. At least the other students seem to have more common sense, as they tend to tune him out or ignore him. I think he needs to be thrown into solitary confinement and his parents be evaluated by social services.

Just one last bit to close it up. At the beginning of the year, all 1st year students chose a Chinese character with explanation to sum up their new year's resolution as part of their Japanese homework. Inevitably most boys choose 力 (strength) or 勉 (study, or preserverence, also tatooed on Marcus Camby's left shoulder), and girls choose 友 (friend) or 笑 (laugh). What did Tsuyoshi choose?

壁　（かべ）
Pronunciation: kabe
Function: noun.
Definition:
a) a high thick masonry structure forming a long rampart or an enclosure chiefly for defense -- often used in plural.
b) a masonry fence around a garden, park, or estate c : a structure that serves to hold back pressure (as of water or sliding earth).
c) one of the sides of a room or building connecting floor and ceiling or foundation and roof.

His explanation? "どんな壁に負けないようにしたい。”
"Because I don't want to lose to a wall of any kind."

I eat this much

Don't know why the graph wouldn't show neatly in html, so click on the image for a clearer idea. But anyway, the x-axis is time in months, and the y-axis is the amount spent as a percentage of monthly salary. The curve represents how much I spend monthly on food (both eating out and grocery).

However, this does not explain the slight weight loss I have experienced in the past couple of months.

In the 81 aftermath

Finally, more than a week later, I finished watching the game last Wednesday.

It's almost heretical and some people will probably burn me for it: I was not as impressed as I probably should be.

It probably has something to do with watching it after the peak of hype has passed, it had more to do with watching Kobe's magnanimity in providing offensive rebounds for his teammates. For comparison, look at Nash's 28 points and 16 assists against the Sonics on the same night. That's 60 points plus 2 30+ point teammates Nash was directly responsible for. Kobe had 2 assists.

It also has to do with watching the 1st half, the 3rd quarter, and the 4th quarter in separate sittings. Kobe was a so-so 26 points in the 1st half, amazing considering that most of those points were honestly scored in the flow of the team and off plays ran for him. In the third quarter Kobe was launching fast-break 3's with hand(s) in his face and triple pump-faking 1-on-5, but he was making everything he threw up and other Lakers were so lethargic they needed to be slapped. In the fourth is when things got ugly. With the game largely decided Kobe was launching his shots anyway. To see whether he made or miss was drama for sure, but it felt like rubbernecking a highway car wreck. It just got kind of boring to see Kobe catching the ball from beyond the 3-point line because his teammates were lazy in creating passing lanes/screens for him, and making a play for himself anyway to put the Lakers up by 10.

But 81 points from 28/46 field goals, 18/20 free throws, and 7/13 3 pointers? To do that will take me 20 minutes, by myself in a gym.

(update 2/7/06) since the 81, the Lakers are a lousy 2-4, allowing 104.5 points (7.2 above their average). Maybe the other teams are playing harder against the Lakers, or maybe all the Kobe worshipping is ticking off all the other Lakers.

(update 2/18/06) from the SG mailbag:

Q: Watching Kobe's 81-point performance was both breathtaking and depressing. The only thing I can relate it to is an adult film (then again, I relate just about everything to the porn industry). Watching Kobe put up 81 was like watching the girl who is going for some sort of porn record; there's no joy to it, she's just going through the motions with the only enjoyment being the completion of a goal. Which is kinda depressing, no?
-- Paul, Santa Barbara, Calif.

Q: Watching Kobe is getting better by the night, isn't it? I find it hilarious when he tries to let his teammates run the offense for a few possessions, then inevitably gets impatient and starts firing up shots again. It's almost like a guy making out with his girlfriend and waiting for her to initiate sex. Deep down, he knows it's not going to happen, but he waits a few minutes anyway. Then he gets frustrated and ends up taking charge on his own.
-- Brian Young, Syracuse, N.Y.

Yao too big to be cool?

The NBA all-star results are out. Yao got the most votes--no surprise there. What is surprising, is that while the Yao's fellow countrymen want Yao to be seen, they don't seem to want to be seen with Yao--Yao's jersey is only the 3rd best selling jersey in China behind those of McGrady and Iverson.