Questions

How much is an appropriate amount for bribing the Japanese driving testor?

If you drive off the course, over the fence and into the river, how many points will be deducted from the test?

Can you get enough speed from the course to perform the above stunt?

After my next try (fourth), should I throw a) a punch b) a rock c) a Motolov cocktail or d) a handful of cum at the tester's face?

Would this affect my chance of passing?

Failed again today. Did not fall off the crank, practically hugged the left side, and drove my best test so far. Nevertheless, left turn still too wide, should've finished the crank "more giri-giri" (smoother), drive a little faster on the straight course, and fuck know what else.

Still an illegal driver

Failed my driving test for the 2nd time today.

Last Thursday when I failed it the first time, it was with the same 2 other people. One lady from China (徐琳？）and another form Philippines. Today (because Friday was a national holiday) it was the 3 of us again. And tomorrow, the same trio again, like a poor man's losing trifecta ticket.

Last Thursday I failed because I did not drive close enough to the left side of the road, and because I went over the curb during the "crank" (two consecutive perpendicular turns, on an approx. 1.2 x car width road). I thought: alright, I got this. As long as I make it through the crank I'll be find the second time.

Today I failed because I did not drive close enough to the left side of the road (eventhough I was pretty sure I almost drove over the left white line a couple of times), I fell off the road instead of over the curb during the crank this time...plus I downshifted while making a turn, and that I did not look over my right shoulder to check my blind spot while making a right turn (read that again: checking blind spot during a right hand turn for fuck's sake and I know that guy'll probably say "Sumimasenga, but that's pronounced S-A-K-A-Y in Japan." well FUCK YOU!).

I have taken 2 vacation days already for this. Every minute I sit in the Japanese DMV is one less minute laying on a sunny Thai beach or toasting the New Year in CA or jerking off at home. And we all know what happens when you take a man's jerking off away from him.

For info about the ridiculously unpractical Japanese "practical" driving test, see here.

Open-source net worth

This article from the NYTimes talked about people baring their personal finances online. I will feel as comfortable about doing this as exposing myself in Shinjuku, but what really caught my attention in this article was the amount of detail of this Jim Wong's recorded finances.

At last I have found a kindred spirit. In July, approx. 13% of my monthly income was eaten, 7% was drunk, and about \16,369 was spent on non-disposable and non-consumable goods. And with all this, I was still able to save about $121 more than my 10-month average (August stats will be availabe in 2-3 business days).

Now I feel less like a bearded gnome.

Fantasy

Comments/tips on my fantasy roster (the league starts
QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, TE, W/R, D, DEF, and 5 benches):

QB: M. Vick
Ben Roethlisberger
RB: L. Tomlinson
Rudi Jhonson
Larry Johnson
Kevin Jones
Willie Parker
TE: Jason Witten
WR: Michael Clayton
Nate Burleson
Marty Booker
DEF: Pats and Jets
D: Donnie Edwards and Kieth Bulluck

I definitely think I should upgrade my reciever core
and QB, what do I got to trade?

Comprehensive list of chiefings

Courtesy of the guys, catalogued for my own future reference:

chief
buster
bub
boss
guy
tiger
squire
constable [this is a stretch, but if squire is legit, this has got to be passable]
deputy [also a stretch]
governor (guv'ner)
captain (cap'n)
colonel
sport
ace
champ
kiddo
hank [happend to ev in missoula]
maestro [jeff cho insists on including this one in the list, despite its limited scope]
Hoss
Tex
Doc
scooter
shooter
sarge
shorty
brother
dude
homey
homes
turbo
cowboy
Sailor
Commodore
General
Lieutenant
genius
big guy
big boy(i)
hot shot
darling
baby
sweetheart
slick
partner
junior
stranger
buddy
bud

Vote, or I'll blast your eardrums

Japanese democracy: they shove it down your throats, one way or another.

Just a day before the election day, the vote hawkers are pulling out their best stuffs--right to your doorsteps with trucks and loudspeakers. Apparently, the rigid Japanese campaining law (35,000 postcards and 70,000 leaflets during the official election campaign period; TV and radio spots can be used by parties, but not individual candidates; and no internet broadcast) does not exclude trucks with loudspeakers patrolling and sonically bombarding every square inch of the voting district.

"Dude. This one is new to me. The campaign trucks are out in full force today, I think I can hear at least 4 right at this very moment, but now they have THEME SONGS. They seem to be competing in key platform areas such as "most nostalgic for old Japan-sounding" "most annoyingly pitched voice" "fastest and most effusive yelling" and "loudest speakers." said Ms. Fischer, a non-participant but nevertheless a victim of the election.

Outback

Subaru Outback is one of my favorite cars. I find an inexplicable attraction to its short and compact, but substantial design. Somehow the shape of the Outback chasis just conveys images of a toned, lean, powerfully-muscled but wiry body taut with acrobatic balance.

Just found out here that it is actually categorized as a light truck. Talk about auto designs that infiltrate your subconscious.

Peace between the sheets?

I highly recommend against this book.

スゲエ痩せた！

西山 sensei is here in the staff room right this moment, showing off his 10 kilo weight loss and tan. It'll take more than a chain-gang to wipe off the smile on his face right now.

Because of typhoon no.14, school will be cancelled tomorrow. But although the students can sit at home and chill, we teachers will have to brave the wind and rain to come to sit in the empty school. It's the way of the Japanese public-serving samurai.

Right now, I'm in the midst of reading through my MTBI and Strong Interest Inventory reports prepared by that career counselor 1.5 years ago. Thought using all this typhoon-induced downtime for some career brainstorming would be a good and productive idea. I'm a INTP with interests in the Artistic and Investigative themes. But really I just want to find a job about which I can happily say "I can't believe I'm getting paid to do this!"

Mondayitis inflammed

It's only day one of my 7-day week and I'm already feeling the slump.

Begging for my JTEs to come as translators was not a pleasant experience. One just "Hmmm, musukashiinaa..."ed when I asked; and while the other one did agree to help, he simply nodded absent-mindly in a way that I'm not sure if he registered my request at all. Calling the DMV and having the guy ask to speak with my translator right that moment (he wasn't around) either to make sure that I indeed have one or just because he's finally fed up with my ineptitude. Then a kid fell on his head during kumitate practice on while I was spacing out just 5 feet away.

And now I'm alone in the office while all the students are preparing for their undoukai events, having nothing I'm supposed to do but feeling guilty nonetheless that I'm not doing anything. I really want to go home and just shrivel up.

Internet ready

Writing from my tatami room in my apartment, which is now internet ready. No more leeching off my neighbor's wireless connection.

Let the donkey porn marathon download begin.

First Japanese license mistep

I took Friday afternoon off so I can drive to Daiei to begin converting my expired international driver's license to a valid Japanese license. I thought it would be a nice gesture to Japanese traffic laws.

Because US driver's licenses are issued by individual states without official treaties with the Japanese government, instead of a simple paper conversion (like Canadian or UK licenses) I would have to take the Japanese road test. I hear this thing is pretty tough, S-turns and figure-8's and parallel park with no margins. But before I even began to do that, I would have to first make an appointment to turn in my paperwork.

I struggled through the phone conversation earlier in the week, and the guy told me that I should bring a translator on the phone. I couldn't find one so I didn't, figuring that I would be able to somehow get through it with my slightly improved Japanese ability.

I didn't. I probably could have if I realized that June 2003, the date of issue as written on my license, was not the date when I took my driving test. Mostly I just nodded and blurted out whatever numbers and dates on my head. The interviewer had enough confidence in my Japanese comprehension and the validity of my answers to ask me back again for a second time, with a translator.

Now I have to go in again next week, basically wasting a half vacation day.