The NHK guy

"Ding...Dong...konichiwa!"

The NHK guy is at my door right now.

The last time I saw the NHK guy, he was just leaving my apartment building and I was just coming in. I told him that the business was bad and my roll is thin. He told me, with a forboding smile, in his bestest Japanglish, "じゃあ、nekusutu timu ne?" I have been dreading this moment ever since.

The NHK guy comes every two months. The first time was mid-September. I opened the door without checking the peephole, and when he quickly slid his foot at the door seam so I couldn't slam it in his face. I knew I've been had. He even had an English brochure for me, just in case I play the "No Japanese" card. I had no choice but to pony up for the month.

He came again in late October, and again in mid January, mixing up his visits, showing different looks for my defense. Shit! I left my bedroom light on! He knows I'm home!

"Ding...Dong..."

Something about the NHK guy's smile both frightens and disgusts me. I hate to say it, but his is the best example of the "Inscrutable Asian Face" I have ever seen. 笑裏蔵刀, a Chinese proverb which means A knife is hiding behind the smile, comes to mind. It's neither completely fake nor wholly malicious. It's a smile that belies the NHK guy's genuine pleasure at causing distress upon another, but held back because although harboring such sentiment is perfectly acceptable or even professional, the unsubtlety of displaying it is rude and bad business. His smile says "I got you now, you know it and I know it. You hate to see my face but I love to see yours because that means I'm gettin' paid. But to appear too happy would be un-civilized so I'll show you this one I've perfected over years of slamming doors in the face. Here, I'll even narrow my eyes like this so I can keep smiling without noticing that you're pissed off, but I'll keep it open enough just in case the fist is coming."

"Ding.................................Dong............................"

Persistent bastard. I would open it just so I could bury a fist in his face, but I'm not sure if I could withdraw my fist faster than he could stick his foot through the door.