Just returned home from Blockbuster, returning FFX2

Just as I was about to start chapter 5, I realized that I wasn't about to get the mascot dress spheres. That really took me out of the game and started thinking about how I was playing it...my heart just wasn't there. I was doing it all wrong--in more ways than one, since I wasn't about to get the mascot dress spheres, fuck.

The story of FFX2 is, how should I put it, stunk with month old moldy cheese. I just don't buy the whole Yuna as a Britney rip-off thing. All the missions in this game just seem pointless to me (ironic, there's a status effect called just that, pointless as it prevents you from earning experience from battles) without all the Final Fantasy trademarked apocalyptic melodrama. Maybe this has to do with Square becoming Square Enix? I mean why else would they thwart decade-long tradition of stand-alone FF universes? All those reviews calling the mood "upbeat" were, in my opinion, sales-friendly euphemisms. It's upbeat in a too-old for Mickey Mouse club sort of way.

The gameplay though was good. I like the dress sphere system, it really plays well and is especially appealling to obsessive micro-managers like me. It's pleasant to fuss about the party line-up, equipment and the dress grid to get the most out of your party in battles. I am especially proud of the way my party has evolved into the powerful and versatile group that they ended up being at lvl 38 and 58% completion. I have 2 strong black mages, one white mage, 3 capable fighters and one sonstress that is on the verge of being ridiculously powerful. Imaging what they can do if given more time and adding the mascot dress sphere? Imaging having a berserker with counter!? God did I do the wrong thing by not finishing it, not obsessing about it and returning it?

Which brings me to my next point. I was so obsessed about it I didn't even realize that this pointless obsession, as fun as it is while it lasted, has to end sometime, and by then you're not going to be any better off (especially not with the way I'm playing it, over-analyzing battle line-ups and constant save and reloads; I'm playing it as a system and not as a game and definitely, through no faults of my own mind you, not as a story). Upon discovering the fact that mascot DS has eluded me, it dawned on me that this whole FFX2 binge was just that, a binge, a target of obsession so that I have something to look forward to when I wake up. I don't know which is more pathetic, not having anything to wake up for, or finding something to obsess so that I have something to wake up for.

Although to be fair, something positive did come out of this week-long binge. A week is really not that bad, it could be worse than the ~50 hours that I have already invested. And I did eventually stop it on my own will (no need to pat my own back, thank you). It also served as a nice transition, a weening period from weed, alcohol, masturbation, a good prep period for the meditation retreat to be sure. And everyone needs a binge period every once in a while. I think after last time I binged in FFX at Jon's studio, I ended up writing the thesis, so who knows what good might come after this one?